10 Year Anniversary

        Today is my 10 year anniversary with my wife Melodie. We went out on a great date tonight to Newport Beach thanks to a friend that volunteered to watch our three little monkeys for FREE! Yes, free!
        We have always wanted to go to Ireland and as the dream of ever getting there (based on our current financial stability) fades, we settled with checking out an Irish pub called Muldons. The food was great. The only hiccup came when I decided to order a Dublin made brew and the server was unconvinced of my legal age. I gave him my drivers license and, after discovering the date, he tilted it back and forth to make sure the CA hologram imbedded in the plastic was real. He then studied my face very closely in the dim light of the room while referring repeatedly back to my picture. With a contemptible stare, he asked if it was really my license. At first I thought he was kidding but after a few seconds of awkward silence I proffered an affirmative answer. “Yes, I really am 30, in fact I have 3 kids and sitting across from me is my wife of 10 years.” He responded with a look of disbelief and said “Wow, where is the fountain of youth located?” It was all in good fun, although I am not totally sure he was convinced that my ID was real or that I was of legal age. He turned out to be a pretty nice guy, I asked him the origin and nature of my Brew and he took the time to carefully instruct me on the pallor and texture.
        We had a lot of fun walking around Fashion Island after dinner. Doing the things romantic couples do: holding hands, taking pictures by the fountain, and visiting the Apple store.:) We also spent quite a bit of time in Barnes and Nobel perusing the books and purchasing a few good reads. Melodie bought a Francine Rivers books that focuses on 5 women of the Bible. I went for N.T. Wright’s new book “After you believe”. I am pretty interested in what he has to say based on my understanding of Spiritual Formation. It should be a great conversation piece and I have even considered blogging on it. We shall see what the future holds. This summer I will be working on writing the main body of my M.A. Thesis, taking an intense Greek course, and (most importantly) hanging out with the family. Your (any reader of this blog) prayers are still coveted and have gotten me through much this past semester. Please continue to pray that God will show us direction on the future of PhD studies and life. God Bless!

Being Lazy

It has been a great break from school. I have enjoyed the laziness aspect of life. Not that I have been sitting around in my PJs for the past month or anything. I have held it a privilege to take a well deserved mental break from the intensity of studying and writing. I have been studying some fun stuff (fun stuff for me anyway) in the last month. Namely, my focus has been on the Pentateuch and Paul. I have a book that is a series of articles called Paul and the Law. I am reading my way through that and also delving into some of John Sailhammer’s early articles. Both of these extra circular studies are hopefully going to serve me well in the coming months as I prepare to write my Masters Thesis.
I have also been working on editing a book with Dr. Alan Hultberg. The subject of this book is something that I have never really cared to study before: 3 views on the Rapture. I always joke with people that I am a perfectly content knowing that Jesus will return someday and everything is going to pan out eventually. So I call myself a “panmillenialist”. This is probably not original with me, I can’t remember where I heard it before but I still don’t hesitate to use it.
As I said before the book I am working on for Dr. Hultberg is all about the 3 different views of the Rapture. It has Craig Blasing for the pretribulational view, Hultberg for the prewrath view, and Douglas Moo for the postribulational view. It all has to do when and if the Rapture will happen. I really like Hultberg’s view of things because of its uniqueness and continuity with OT scripture. He is also my mentor so I suppose I probably should side with him, if anybody:) Although, I do think doing PhD studies under Doug Moo at Wheaton might be pretty cool.
The boys and I have been playing a lot of Wii lately because of all of the rain. Until they were recently grounded that is:( Put them in the corner, take away TV, spank there butts, all of these things don’t seem to phase them. But take away the Wii and not we are talking some real emotional trauma:)
I am struggling with the idea that I should probably get back on my ADHD medication. School was a lot easier last year when I was taking it. We ran out of money and really couldn’t afford it anymore so I detoxed and did all right. I got straight As last semester but I had a really hard time focusing on writing papers and was pretty disappointed in one that I submitted to a professor. I really studied the heck out of it and then couldn’t sit down long enough to get it out on paper. When I was on the medication I could sit and write. Not blogs like this (which no one is reading anyway) but systematic theology papers that were good quality and recognized by my professors. With my thesis coming up I want to do quality work. So I am going to go and talk with the Biola Shrink and see what he thinks. He was regulating my meds until I went off of them so he will probably think it is a good idea to get back on them.
My life really isn’t that difficult. God has my back and I am just looking to follow Him where ever He leads.
I need a cool closing phrase ot these bloggs. Something catchy like TTFN, ta ta for now, but much less childish:) I have a friend that uses “In His Grip”. Thats is rockin cool but I don’t want to plagiarize. Maybe I chew on a Mentos and think of one.
Until Later
J. Owen Carroll (This is how I will sign my name someday when I write a book!)

Car Wreckage

As some of you may have heard Aiden and I were in a car accident Tuesday morning. Don’t worry we are both OK. Here is the story:

Aiden and I were driving our 2000 Pontiac Montana to meet up with Melodie at the church office. She had left about 30 minutes earlier with Ryan (Ethan was at school). I pulled out of our neighborhood onto Walker St. and proceeded down the street like we have done hundreds of times before. Not even a mile down the road we were passing though the intersection at Walker and Crescent and out of no where… BAMMM! This lady who was driving the opposite direction on Walker decided to take a quick left turn in the same intersection right in front of me. My front passenger headlight area collided with her passenger side spinning her around in the intersection. Thankfully our van is like a tank. The air bags didn’t even go off and I swerved a little but made it through the intersection and pulled over to the side of the road safely.
        I was a little rattled from the suddenness of it all. (I didn’t even see her until we collided, I think this is a great indication of how fast and careless she was driving.) I looked back at Aiden and he was a bit confused. He said “Daddy go Boom?” Other then being a bit shaken up both of us were fine. I pulled Aiden out and surveyed the damage. The lady that hit us was still in her car in the intersection. A guy had stopped to help and make sure she was ok. Her car was completely smashed and had to get towed away on the back of a tow truck. The police officer told me that she was fine but she went to the hospital in the ambulance anyway to get checked out. Melodie came back from the office and I limped the car home into our parking space.
        So there our van sits. The front passenger side completely smashed up and undriveable. I contacted the insurance company and it looks like it is going to take a while to get fixed, if not declared totaled. In the mean time we are all jamming into our little Ford Escort anytime we want to go anywhere as a family. It is a little difficult to fit two car seats into the back and Ethan in the middle. Not much room for backpacks, toys and other such things that the kids bring along with them but we will manage.
        The crappy thing about all of this is that Aiden spent the rest of Tuesday vomiting every few hours. He had no other symptoms of head injury so we think it just had to do with the anxiety from the crash. This was confirmed by the past few nights of nightmares he has had. Waking up and yelling “Daddy go Boom!” We have not had much sleep in the past few days. Other than the nightmares Aiden is doing fine. He is his same old non-stop energy/destroy everything kid he has always been.
        I am confident that God is going to work this out in the best way possible. Whether that be a fixed van, a new (obviously used) car, or some way we haven’t yet thought of. Please pray that His perfect will be done in all of this. And thank him that we were all safe through this whole thing! He is Awesome!

Life Updated

Once again I come to this blog to write an update on my life. But as I think through what I desire to share I am beginning to understand that this will be so much more than a “here is what the Carroll family is up to” entry. Rather, once again I am writing to work through different options in my life. To put them down in words and clear space in my brain to think these things through.

I am now working on my 6ht semester as a student at Talbot School of Theology. Currently I am enrolled in the M.A. Theology and the M.A. Spiritual Formation programs. Yes, a double Masters degree. I am only about 9 credit hours away from finishing my M.A. Theology and then about another year left on my M.A. Spiritual Formation.

I am also working a 10 hour a week job as the Connection Pastor at Ambassador Church (our home church since coming to the L.A. area and the subject of a few previous blog entries). The church has recently merged with another church which created a multi-site campus in Montrose formerly known as Immanuel Chapel. With this change I have been offered a chance to increase my hours at the church to 20. Yet, as I found out after an intense discussion with Pastor Ray this would not be a position that would be limited to only 20 hours a week, it would be more of a half-time position with quite a bit of built in expectation. I would be in charge of all local outreach along with my connection duties plus whatever Ray dreams up as we progress through the year.

All of this sounds great if it were not for the other things going on in my life. Before I mention these other things I feel as if I must qualify my taking on these other responsibilities in hopes that the reader will understand my original reason for attending Seminary here at Talbot. I have come here for the experience. To experience and explore what God has for my future. But this is not solely an introspective journey. Rather I seek to be used in the way God wishes to use the gifts and talents he has bestowed upon me.

For this reason I have accepted a position as a Research Assistant (R.A.) for Dr. Alan Hultberg. Dr. Hultberg is a New Testament scholar that has been instrumental in my Seminary experience. Primarily with his New Testament Survey class and a few semesters later his seminar class on Pauline Theology. I am currently helping him edit a book that is a rethinking of a seminal book on differing views of the Rapture.

I am also serving as the in the Social Chair position on the Talbot Associated Students. This position of leadership could be expanded to the presidential role coming next year. The Social Chair is a unique position of influence that establishes and furthers relationships among the Talbot students and faculty. Along with this service comes a scholarship that pays for about 3/4 of my tuition but most important is the impact that I have on Talbot in general.

All of these things combine with my desire to study and write a M.A. thesis that is not just another discourse on an oversaturated topic but a real contribution to the field of Pauline Theology.

First an foremost in all of this is my relationship with Melodie and the boys. I desire to be present with and accountable to my family . It has been an amazing privilege to be a stay-at-home dad and be intimately involved in Aiden and Ryun’s daily life. I cherish praying with Ethan as I drop him off at school and debrief with he experiences a full day of learning and excitement.

So here is where I sit. Trying to figure out what is next and what decisions I should make, if any, to further God’s initiative in my life. Should I take on the responsibility of more hours at the church? What would I have to drop from life in order to do this job well? Is this position worth shaking up the established pattern we have already established in the last year? How will all of this effect my longing to continue on and get my Ph.D? Where does God want me in all of this?

I will be praying and searching and talking these things out.

Update about Financial Situation

Well God is Awesome! For this semester he has provided just about enough money to attend Talbot full-time at 9 hours. He did this through scholarship money through the support of friends and family. Our family is truly blessed. I had to make some hard decisions on which classes to take but in the end all of these things worked out the best for our schedule.

Melodie is continuing to work at Ambassador Church as the Office Administrator and her schedule and hours worked fit pretty seamlessly with mine. The majority of mornings I will be home with the kids and enjoying poopy diapers and runny noses while trying to work on school stuff during nap time.

I am also happy to announce that I have been accepted into the Institute of Spiritual Formation (ISF) at Talbot. I’ll be working on the Masters of Arts in Spiritual Formation along with the Masters in Arts in Theology that I have already completed about 3/4 the required courses. This is definitely a God thing!

As many of you know I am searching for direction in life and keeping myself open to God’s plan for my calling to ministry. I share a heart with the ISF program’s study of Spiritual Formation ( a new and fancy term for the doctrine of Sanctification) and I am pretty thrilled to be in on what I believe to be the next big wave in Seminary studies. I am unique in that ISF has allowed me to pursue this M.A. along with the one I was currently working on in Theology.

9 hours will be a lot different than the 14-15 hours I have been taking a semester but I feel that God is wanting me to be part of something else in my “spare” time. What that will be remains to be seen. Remember we did not take student loans this semester and relied on God to faithfully provide the funds needed for school. And to top it all off I got straight As last semster bringing my current GPA to 3.8! It was hard and insane but God got us through. I am excited about my classes this semester. Spiritual Formation in Pauline Thought, Contemporary Theology, and History and Traditions of Christian Spirituality.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

The first problem with your question is that it is impossible to define someone as a good person, there are no “good people”. Defining someone as good elevates them to a status that would dissolve the effects of bad/evil encounter. True goodness cannot be tainted by evil. In fact, just the opposite happens: when bad/evil encounters true goodness it is overwhelmed and either driven away or annihilated. Evil/bad is the absence of good not it’s antithesis.

With an understanding of the above we can only correctly assume that true goodness can be found in the form of a transcendent Creator. All humanity/ “people” are in the same situation: inhabitants of a world that was signed over by its Supremely appointed steward (man) to the originator of separation and chaos. We feel the effects of this chaos every time we experience something that grates against our now perverted idea of justice. It is true that because we were created in the image of God we still hold an innate sense of “the way things should be” yet when conceptualized through our fractured nature this becomes perverted into self-centered accusations against the Source of justice itself. We blame God for not acting all the while finding refuge in our self-sufficiency. We have abolished justice from our own lives yet when we ourselves are slighted we demand retribution for our inconveniences. We lash out against Him in our pain yet find solace in physiological coping mechanisms and psychosomatic analgesics.

When God, in His sovereignty, chooses to act he does so in His omniscience and for the best interest of His people. We in turn are not all-knowing therefore we may not be able to comprehend His purpose or plan. Without His sustaining force existence would be impossible. Without His grace and peace tragedies would be unbearable. Without His Son relationship would not be possible.

Some would say: “to question God’s purpose in allowing tragedy is a direct affront to His nature; who are we to question the Almighty Creator of Heaven and Earth?; all of creation belongs to Him to do with as He sees fit; to question is to incur His wrath and chastisement!; Beware Oh you of little faith!” Surely there are instances of sever warning given but only to those who in their haughtiness claim to know better than Him. I know that God welcomes and honest seeker. He desires to console the hurting and grant peace to the broken hearted. He can handle your anger; your screaming does not frighten Him nor you yelling cause Him disquiet. He desires that you give your pain to Him in order that He might gently work through your questions, correct your misunderstanding, and rectify your intentions. This is how God is love.

My determination not to take anymore Student Loans!!

After much prayer and lots of consultation with people I trust, I have decided not to take out anymore student loans for my school stuff. Right now we are about 25k in debt from past student loans. The last thing I want to do is get into so much debt that I cannot be free to do the ministry God has prepared in advance for me! So what does that mean? I am only going to take as many classes as I can afford at the moment. It is a big step because I am certain that God has called us down here (LA area) specifically to do school full-time. He has provided for us and confirmed this calling at every turn. I am applying for a few scholarships and looking for others. Please pray for my family as we rely wholly on God’s provision!

If you know of any scholarships or other type funding please e-mail me or write to me at

Josh Carroll

8741 Watson #D

Cypress, Ca 90630

My article on Creation Care was Published!

I was recently interviewed on the subject of Creation Care for the Evangelical Free Denomination’s national magazine: the EFCA Today.

To see this article click on the link below.

http://www.efcatoday.org/creation-care

Check the Pages Sidebar to follow an ongoing (hopefully) dialouge that my article has sparked!

Lack of Trust

Lately I have begun to understadn that I am deficient in the category of really trusting others. I believe this is based on my past experiences; the times that I have thoroughly trusted in others that resulted in betrayal.
I wasn’t abused as a child, in fact I was loved and nurtured in a godly fashion by my parents. I had a great role model in the form of my loving and present father; I was lovingly cared for and nurtured by my compassionate mother. Both my grandfathers were spiritual giants in my life, when I pictured God they formed a composite image in my head of joy and expectation (from Grandpa A) and strength and gentleness (from Grandpa C). I trust these people and they have never let me down.

Fast forward to the beginning of my ministry “carrier”. The “spiritual” giants in my life became the pastors I worked for: a man who I stood beside as he passed dangerously close to the valley of death, a temper tantrum throwing dictator who feared for his own kingdom rather than God’s, a man made of straw who was unsettled by minute gusts of wind,  a reckoner of tolls but flaccid in quality.

The spiritual giants in my life became enormous disappointments and have impaired my ability to trust in spiritual leadership.

It is because of my childhood years and the formation that took place through constant prayer and mentoring from godly family that I have not lost my trust or faith in God. This has sustained me through the severity and spoken to me through the darkness. But because of the pain I find it difficult to not be skeptical towards any form of “spiritual leadership”. I believe this is where the idea of incarnational theology comes into the picture. My lack of trust might inhibit the Holy Spirit message to me through others. Yet I have heard the claim of His guidance before, colored with spiritual talk and saturated with pastoral-ese. Men that have prayerfully considered my decimation and acted in their own best interests and have suffered the consequences later. I trust God’s justice and I have seen sinful action come full circle. (I say this all the while knowing that I myself have reaped the rewards of my own self-delusionment  and do not consider myself to be immune from sin and in the seat of the Judge.)

I understand my inability to trust and I seek to rectify this by prayerfully being guided into a mentoring relationship. So far it is becoming painfully obvious that professors at Talbot are so busy that mentoring is a distant priority. I don’t fault them in this but I do wonder if they have forgotten the people that mentored them through their formative academic years. I hope to be mentored and I am open to trusting someone, all the while knowing full well that I will have to wade through the slaughter house of skepticism to open my heart to experiencing Him incarnationally through a “spiritual leader”.

A Book Chart of Proverbs 5 using the Simpsons

proverbs-5-bookchart